Let's get the ball rolling....

I was in the library last week and saw that one of my former co-workers was having a book signing for "Princess Ava and Prince Kali" a children's book that she authored. I was pleasantly surprised and decided to give her a call and congratulate her on this accomplishment.

During our conversation, I learned that she started on the book last fall, and here it is summer, and she has her book published and is having a book signing! I think that happened pretty rapidly, and it convinced me to begin working on my book projects sooner rather than later. I am currently completing a qualitative research project about homelessness among adolescent mothers in Chicago, and purposed within myself, that after I finished the research articles, I would begin to write 1000 words daily toward the completion of my books. However, being the social entrepreneur that I am, there is no set date that the research will be completed: It is a very complex process that I am endeavoring alone (I will never, ever take on the responsibility of a research project without adequate funds to hire staff again). If I stick with my plan to write 1000 words of my books once I have completed this research project, who knows when my books will be done!

So now I have purposed to start writing 50 words per day toward the completion of my books, and instead of waiting until the indefinite date of when I complete my research, I will begin on August 4, 2008. Writing 50 words daily is not difficult to do, especially since I love to write: I am sure that there will be many days when I exceed 50 words. Nevertheless, I will not pressure myself to write more than 50 words daily.

I had given some thought to, and have done some research about my options when it comes to publishing. Initially, I thought that self-publishing might be the best way for me to go. Then, a little later, I thought it might be good to search for a publishing company. However, after talking to my former co-worker who has published her book, I have once again decided that I will self-publish. There are benefits to self-publishing and to being published by an established publisher. Of course, I will enjoy the autonomy that self-publishing provides. I was further persuaded to self-publish once my former co-worker shared information she had learned from a seminar she attended. I don't remember who she said the author was, but he hosted a seminar, and talked about how 20 publishers rejected his book manuscript: Many told him that he couldn't write. I shared with her that I had read about a mystery novel writer, who before she was first published, received 160 rejection letters from publishers: Talk about tenacity! Anyway, the author whose seminar my co-worker attended, decided to self-publish due to the rejection from 20 publishers. His book became very successful, he was featured on the Oprah show, and within 1 hour, he sold 1 million copies (talk about the power of Oprah). As a result, he enjoyed the financial merits both of authoring and publishing his book. My former co-worker, who also self-published her book, suggested that these experiences (i.e. hers and the successful authors) were confirmation that I should self-publish my books when I write them. Say no more--I think that self-publishing will be the best option for me as well.

So now, the procrastination has to cease. I have these book ideas, and it is time that I start writing the books. As the Nike slogan so eloquently states, I'm going to "Just do it".

Until the next blog,

Lillian S. Harris

"Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? (AN AFFIRMATION)

I am a beautiful, smart, and unique woman

I appreciate myself and my talents, and I will put them to good use

I recognize that my life has purpose

And I will invest the time needed to realize my purpose

I can accomplish anything I set my mind to and am willing to work for

I realize that nothing is going to fall in my lap

Yet I can make my dreams come true if I work diligently

I know that life isn't easy and I will have some struggles

Still I will make the most of what I have and always strive for the best

There are no guarantees in life but I can influence my destiny

I am destined for greatness

I will doubt my doubts and create my own truths

I refuse to accept less than my worth

I refuse to settle

I refuse to become complacent at any point short of my destiny

I will never give up

I will not be paralyzed by fear

I will pursue my dreams fervently

If I fail, I will try again

If I am wrong, I will make it right

I don't have to be ashamed of any of my experiences or any of my mistakes

I will learn from them and use them to my advantage

I deserve to be treated with respect

I deserve to be loved

I deserve the best and will treat myself as though I do

I will lead a healthy, balanced, successful and prosperous life

People will be priviledged to know me.

Copyright 2008 By Lillian Harris

Are you a dreamer?

I am a children's church teacher and one of my favorite lessons that I taught my pupil's about is the story of Joseph and how his brothers sold him into slavery because they were jealous of him. I had an epiphany as I taught the children about this future leader (He went from a slave to a ruler in Egypt): One of the biggest reasons that Joseph's brothers hated him was because he was a dreamer--most dreamers endure harsh persecution (e.g. Dr. King) and deal with alot of jealous and/or envious people.

I have always been a dreamer. Focusing on, and creating a vision for my future is what kept me striving toward my goals despite the many turbulent times that I faced as I pursued them. As a teen and younger woman, upon initially meeting someone (especially in a business or collegiate setting), I would talk about my goals to strike up a conversation. Truth be told, being from my background and experiences, I guess I felt I had something to prove. But at some point, I started accomplishing alot of my goals; and they evolved into a vision-- Before, where people would patronize me when I shared my goals with them, they now [when they hear my vision] either believe that what I am sharing with them are just grandiose, lofty "dreams", or they recognize my potential, ability, and ambition and then I am subject to the persecution (e.g. jealousy, deceit, envy, hatred) that dreamers face. (It's funny how when at the time I was being patronized, I didn't recognize it until my goals became a vision.) But I can't help it; my vision continues to broaden on a regular basis.

It takes a fearless and tenacious person to actually pursue their dreams: To put those dreams into action-- that's when a dream becomes a vision. I haven't heard the story of one innovator, one entrepreneur, one inventor, who didn't struggle to make their dreams a reality and motivate the manifestation of his or her vision.

I recently read this book entitled, "Spirit Driven Success". In this book, the author talks about the same story of Joseph and how he provokes his brothers by telling them the dreams that he had, which symbolized them serving him (if you are interested in reading this biblical story it can be found in Genesis 37). She goes on to quote another spiritual truth in relation to this story: She implies that when a dreamer or visionary shares that vision with people they know hate them, or are jealous/envious of them, they are casting their pearls before swine. Respectively, she advises dreamers or visionaries to avoid "casting their pearls before swine" (Matthew 7:6). So that's why some people hate on you when you share your vision with them? Alot of people regulary claim that they are blessed, and it truly is a blessing to be a visionary who has the ambition and courage to pursue their vision, but to be blessed is to be envied. I guess that's where the saying, "Can you stand to be blessed?", was derived.

Until my next blog,

Lillian S. Harris, The Elect One

"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds." ~Albert Einstein

Overcoming the miniscule fear of pursuing your dreams

It is ironic how a mouse, such a tiny creature which has little or no capacity to cause an individual harm, can invoke so much fear. You may wonder, "What inspired her to write about a mouse?": Follow my train of thought for a moment. I can recall a time when I realized that there was a mouse in my house and it caused me so much anxiety and fear. I was afraid to move around the house and found it difficult to fall asleep--Mice just give me the hebie jebies. I know everyone doesn't openly admit to have having a mouse in their house, but realistically, at some point, nearly everyone has had to endure the presence of this critter either until they caught it, or had an exterminator come out to their home to get rid of it. But when you logically think about it, what is there to be afraid of? Eventually, we realize this and decide not to allow a mouse to make us prisoners in our own homes.

What if it was that simple to overcome our fears of pursuing our dreams, our passions?

According to an excellent article I read recently, "The Fear Factor: Make Your Fear(s) Work For You", published in the May issue of a local publication, Today's Chicago Woman, it is possible to overcome our fears and use them to our advantage . The author, Gail Sussman Miller, asserts that distraction caused by fear can keep you from thinking, making decisions, or taking action. I myself have experienced fear in this context as I relentlessly pursue my dreams of starting my nonprofit organization, Advocates for Adolescent Mothers, as well as my consulting firm, my research, and my book writing endeavor. I'm a versatile person and I typically take on more than one project at a time. I have found that as I get more involved in the projects that I am involved with, every now and then, I am confronted with two basic fears:

(1) What if this project is a failure?

(2) What if this project is a success, and I don't have what it takes to sustain this success?

It sometimes feels like the longitudinal nature of my projects are conducive to the manifestation of these two fears. I believe that if the projects that I am involved with immediately produced the outcomes or success that I hope for in the future, there wouldn't be much room for a constant battle with these two fears. I realize that the preceding statement basically describes an "overnight success", and it seems that entrepreneurs are rarely, if ever, overnight successes.

Fortunately, we can make our fears work to our advantage. Gail Sussman Miller optimistically describes fear as "a form of protection stemming from your survival instinct". She asserts that the parts of us that materialize fear "care deeply" about us. Based on this assessment, Miller suggests that we use our fears to our advantage by "acknowledging and listening to our fearful parts". Instead of allowing our fears to stagnate or impede us, Miller recommends that we make fear our ally and continue to work toward our dreams. She goes on to list ten tips for making our fears our ally. One of the most impressive observations she presents in this list is that "fear comes from living in the past or projecting into the future". I believe that this is the stream of thought that produces my two basic fears related to me pursuing my dreams as I articulated above. However, after reading this article I feel empowered to use my fears to my advantage instead of allowing my fears to consume and/or paralyze me.

Just as with the analogy of the fear of a mouse in your house, overcoming our fear takes us realizing it's true significance, and I am convinced that the majority of the time we will conclude that our fear [alone] is not powerful enough to prevent us from reaching our goals.

"Some people pay to ride a roller coaster for the pleasure of experiencing fear. These emotions can coexist and you can move forward rather than be held back."

~Gail Sussman Miller

Until the next blog,

Lillian S. Harris

Looking forward to your comments

Dear All,

I have made changes to my blog settings that will enable anyone to leave a comment in response to any blog posting. My apologies to anyone that attempted to leave a comment prior to me making these changes.

Until the next blog,

Lillian S. Harris

How often in life do things turn out the way you plan? Continued

I am a very reflective person. A couple of years ago, I came to the realization that opportunities do not always come packaged and ready for one to take advantage of them; sometimes one has to create her own opportunities. I remember a couple times during graduate school when this was true for me, and I had to create the opportunity that I wanted.

The first time I experienced this was during the last months of my first year of graduate school. As a graduate student in the social services discipline, it was required that I complete an internship both years of my attendance. My first year internship in counseling was very rewarding, but I knew that I wanted to acquire administrative experience, especially since that was my concentration. As I searched through the internship relationships that the school already had with organizations, I couldn't find one that really appealed to me and would give me the experience that I desired. I knew that in the future, I wanted to create a "network that provided supportive housing to adolescent mothers" (I quoted that because I remember so many times reciting that to people as being my "ultimate goal in social work"). So I was in search of an opportunity that would allow me the opportunity to experience operating a supportive housing program. Because such an opportunity did not exist, I identified an organization that provided these services and convinced the executive director to create a relationship with my school, which allowed me to fulfill my internship requirement for graduation.

So with things not working out the way that I planned in terms of employment after graduation, I remembered that I am in control of my destiny and that I have the power and capacity to create my own opportunities. So I began to focus and put more time into researching and developing my nonprofit organization,

Advocates for Adolescent Mothers

, which will provide supportive housing to young moms, advocacy, and produce research about issues that affect young mothers. I had secured a website for my initiative about a year-and-a-half earlier, and every now and then, I would get a burst of ideas for my initiative (soon to be nonprofit organization). I began to plan and set goals for the development of my nonprofit organization (which I once thought would be a "network").

In addition to planning for my nonprofit organization, I was working on a research project that I had received IRB approval from the University of Chicago to conduct. I often wished that I had received a grant for this project, because I was working, but I just wasn't getting paid for my work. This research project is actually another example of me creating the opportunity that I wanted. I wanted to conduct research about homelessness among adolescent mothers in Chicago and I had to make it possible. When I didn't receive the grant that I applied for, I still conducted the research and paid the participants their $30 incentives from my own pocket. I am still working on this project, and often I have to console myself and remind myself that when I am done with this write-up it will be published in an academic journal, I will begin to be seen as an expert on this issue, and it will all be worth it.

Although the examples that I have given demonstrate the fact that you have to create your own opportunities, they also illustrate how things can go opposite your plans. My ideal plan for my research project was to receive grant funding and be done with the project before I graduated (which was really an ambitious goal). I believe these examples actually depict the relationship between planning and creating your own opportunities.

The title of this blog is, "How often in life do things turn out the way you plan?" I started the first blog in this title reflecting on the saying that failing to plan is a plan to fail. The ending of the first blog might have given the impression that I had began to take a pessimistic view toward planning; but I am not at all cynical about planning-- I think it is very important to plan. However, it is important to know that things rarely manifest exactly as we plan.... Nothing in life is guaranteed. It is understandable and warranted to be disappointed for a very short while when are plans aren't manifested as we expected, but not to dwell in this mode. When things don't go the way you plan, you have re-visit the plan and make modifications. Also be prepared for things that happen that you didn't have the foresight to plan for. Although planning is important, it is impossible to plan for every facet of your life: Some things are best left to spontaneity. Finally, it is important to know that when things don't go the way you planned, it is an opportunity for you to create your own opportunity. (This is very insightful if I must say so myself!)

Much Luv,

Lillian S. Harris

"The best way to predict the future is to create it." ~Unknown

How often in life does things turn out the way you plan?

There is this saying that 'having no plan is a plan to fail'. Well I'm one who has always planned: But how do you handle it when things don't go the way you planned? This is a life lesson that I am gradually learning.

I graduated last June with my master's degree from a U.S. top ten school (#3), and I just knew that my struggles were over. Since I had been in school every year of my life consecutively since I was 5 years old, the plan was to take a 6 month sabbatical from everything (i.e. school and work) to rest, relax, and spend some quality time with my son, who had also made many sacrifices as I pursued both my bachelor's and master's degree. I enjoyed some wonderful experiences over that summer too: I traveled, did some public speaking, partied...everything I had to defer doing as a "disciplined" student.

However, being the work-a-holic that I am, I thought it would be best if I cut my 6 month sabbatical in half and return to work in September. I knew that I would be working at a social research agency of a major university. But guess what? Things didn't work out as I planned. Initially, I didn't trip. I knew that any employer would be fortunate to have me as an employee. I knew it wouldn't be long before I had the perfect job offer, where I would be commanding my minimum salary requirement at the least, especially since I perceived the courtship I received from employers prior to graduation as an indication of this.

But another month went by and I hadn't come across that job I planned for; then another month, and another month, until 3 months later, we arrive at the month of December. Again, another employer sought me out, and I went for the interview under the impression that I was interviewing for a program manager position, and it turned out that I was interviewing for a director position. I reviewed the job description, and knew that I could excellently perform every task that was detailed in that document. I was offered the job on the spot, and I was ecstatic. It had taken longer than I expected, but it appeared that my plan was beginning to be manifested the way I had hoped. Now I could go get the place that would be nothing like any other place I'd had before, I would go and get my new car...I would be calling the shots! But again, things didn't go the way I planned, and the executive director of this organization cowardly reneged on the position by mail.

Now what to do? I hadn't planned to fail, yet my plans were failing: Or so it seemed....

To be continued.............

I'd love to hear your feedback: Don't hesitate to comment to this blog entry!

Sincerely,

Lillian S. Harris

"I can be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it." ~Maya Angelou