Overcoming the miniscule fear of pursuing your dreams

It is ironic how a mouse, such a tiny creature which has little or no capacity to cause an individual harm, can invoke so much fear. You may wonder, "What inspired her to write about a mouse?": Follow my train of thought for a moment. I can recall a time when I realized that there was a mouse in my house and it caused me so much anxiety and fear. I was afraid to move around the house and found it difficult to fall asleep--Mice just give me the hebie jebies. I know everyone doesn't openly admit to have having a mouse in their house, but realistically, at some point, nearly everyone has had to endure the presence of this critter either until they caught it, or had an exterminator come out to their home to get rid of it. But when you logically think about it, what is there to be afraid of? Eventually, we realize this and decide not to allow a mouse to make us prisoners in our own homes.

What if it was that simple to overcome our fears of pursuing our dreams, our passions?

According to an excellent article I read recently, "The Fear Factor: Make Your Fear(s) Work For You", published in the May issue of a local publication, Today's Chicago Woman, it is possible to overcome our fears and use them to our advantage . The author, Gail Sussman Miller, asserts that distraction caused by fear can keep you from thinking, making decisions, or taking action. I myself have experienced fear in this context as I relentlessly pursue my dreams of starting my nonprofit organization, Advocates for Adolescent Mothers, as well as my consulting firm, my research, and my book writing endeavor. I'm a versatile person and I typically take on more than one project at a time. I have found that as I get more involved in the projects that I am involved with, every now and then, I am confronted with two basic fears:

(1) What if this project is a failure?

(2) What if this project is a success, and I don't have what it takes to sustain this success?

It sometimes feels like the longitudinal nature of my projects are conducive to the manifestation of these two fears. I believe that if the projects that I am involved with immediately produced the outcomes or success that I hope for in the future, there wouldn't be much room for a constant battle with these two fears. I realize that the preceding statement basically describes an "overnight success", and it seems that entrepreneurs are rarely, if ever, overnight successes.

Fortunately, we can make our fears work to our advantage. Gail Sussman Miller optimistically describes fear as "a form of protection stemming from your survival instinct". She asserts that the parts of us that materialize fear "care deeply" about us. Based on this assessment, Miller suggests that we use our fears to our advantage by "acknowledging and listening to our fearful parts". Instead of allowing our fears to stagnate or impede us, Miller recommends that we make fear our ally and continue to work toward our dreams. She goes on to list ten tips for making our fears our ally. One of the most impressive observations she presents in this list is that "fear comes from living in the past or projecting into the future". I believe that this is the stream of thought that produces my two basic fears related to me pursuing my dreams as I articulated above. However, after reading this article I feel empowered to use my fears to my advantage instead of allowing my fears to consume and/or paralyze me.

Just as with the analogy of the fear of a mouse in your house, overcoming our fear takes us realizing it's true significance, and I am convinced that the majority of the time we will conclude that our fear [alone] is not powerful enough to prevent us from reaching our goals.

"Some people pay to ride a roller coaster for the pleasure of experiencing fear. These emotions can coexist and you can move forward rather than be held back."

~Gail Sussman Miller

Until the next blog,

Lillian S. Harris