Looking forward to your comments

Dear All,

I have made changes to my blog settings that will enable anyone to leave a comment in response to any blog posting. My apologies to anyone that attempted to leave a comment prior to me making these changes.

Until the next blog,

Lillian S. Harris

How often in life do things turn out the way you plan? Continued

I am a very reflective person. A couple of years ago, I came to the realization that opportunities do not always come packaged and ready for one to take advantage of them; sometimes one has to create her own opportunities. I remember a couple times during graduate school when this was true for me, and I had to create the opportunity that I wanted.

The first time I experienced this was during the last months of my first year of graduate school. As a graduate student in the social services discipline, it was required that I complete an internship both years of my attendance. My first year internship in counseling was very rewarding, but I knew that I wanted to acquire administrative experience, especially since that was my concentration. As I searched through the internship relationships that the school already had with organizations, I couldn't find one that really appealed to me and would give me the experience that I desired. I knew that in the future, I wanted to create a "network that provided supportive housing to adolescent mothers" (I quoted that because I remember so many times reciting that to people as being my "ultimate goal in social work"). So I was in search of an opportunity that would allow me the opportunity to experience operating a supportive housing program. Because such an opportunity did not exist, I identified an organization that provided these services and convinced the executive director to create a relationship with my school, which allowed me to fulfill my internship requirement for graduation.

So with things not working out the way that I planned in terms of employment after graduation, I remembered that I am in control of my destiny and that I have the power and capacity to create my own opportunities. So I began to focus and put more time into researching and developing my nonprofit organization,

Advocates for Adolescent Mothers

, which will provide supportive housing to young moms, advocacy, and produce research about issues that affect young mothers. I had secured a website for my initiative about a year-and-a-half earlier, and every now and then, I would get a burst of ideas for my initiative (soon to be nonprofit organization). I began to plan and set goals for the development of my nonprofit organization (which I once thought would be a "network").

In addition to planning for my nonprofit organization, I was working on a research project that I had received IRB approval from the University of Chicago to conduct. I often wished that I had received a grant for this project, because I was working, but I just wasn't getting paid for my work. This research project is actually another example of me creating the opportunity that I wanted. I wanted to conduct research about homelessness among adolescent mothers in Chicago and I had to make it possible. When I didn't receive the grant that I applied for, I still conducted the research and paid the participants their $30 incentives from my own pocket. I am still working on this project, and often I have to console myself and remind myself that when I am done with this write-up it will be published in an academic journal, I will begin to be seen as an expert on this issue, and it will all be worth it.

Although the examples that I have given demonstrate the fact that you have to create your own opportunities, they also illustrate how things can go opposite your plans. My ideal plan for my research project was to receive grant funding and be done with the project before I graduated (which was really an ambitious goal). I believe these examples actually depict the relationship between planning and creating your own opportunities.

The title of this blog is, "How often in life do things turn out the way you plan?" I started the first blog in this title reflecting on the saying that failing to plan is a plan to fail. The ending of the first blog might have given the impression that I had began to take a pessimistic view toward planning; but I am not at all cynical about planning-- I think it is very important to plan. However, it is important to know that things rarely manifest exactly as we plan.... Nothing in life is guaranteed. It is understandable and warranted to be disappointed for a very short while when are plans aren't manifested as we expected, but not to dwell in this mode. When things don't go the way you plan, you have re-visit the plan and make modifications. Also be prepared for things that happen that you didn't have the foresight to plan for. Although planning is important, it is impossible to plan for every facet of your life: Some things are best left to spontaneity. Finally, it is important to know that when things don't go the way you planned, it is an opportunity for you to create your own opportunity. (This is very insightful if I must say so myself!)

Much Luv,

Lillian S. Harris

"The best way to predict the future is to create it." ~Unknown

How often in life does things turn out the way you plan?

There is this saying that 'having no plan is a plan to fail'. Well I'm one who has always planned: But how do you handle it when things don't go the way you planned? This is a life lesson that I am gradually learning.

I graduated last June with my master's degree from a U.S. top ten school (#3), and I just knew that my struggles were over. Since I had been in school every year of my life consecutively since I was 5 years old, the plan was to take a 6 month sabbatical from everything (i.e. school and work) to rest, relax, and spend some quality time with my son, who had also made many sacrifices as I pursued both my bachelor's and master's degree. I enjoyed some wonderful experiences over that summer too: I traveled, did some public speaking, partied...everything I had to defer doing as a "disciplined" student.

However, being the work-a-holic that I am, I thought it would be best if I cut my 6 month sabbatical in half and return to work in September. I knew that I would be working at a social research agency of a major university. But guess what? Things didn't work out as I planned. Initially, I didn't trip. I knew that any employer would be fortunate to have me as an employee. I knew it wouldn't be long before I had the perfect job offer, where I would be commanding my minimum salary requirement at the least, especially since I perceived the courtship I received from employers prior to graduation as an indication of this.

But another month went by and I hadn't come across that job I planned for; then another month, and another month, until 3 months later, we arrive at the month of December. Again, another employer sought me out, and I went for the interview under the impression that I was interviewing for a program manager position, and it turned out that I was interviewing for a director position. I reviewed the job description, and knew that I could excellently perform every task that was detailed in that document. I was offered the job on the spot, and I was ecstatic. It had taken longer than I expected, but it appeared that my plan was beginning to be manifested the way I had hoped. Now I could go get the place that would be nothing like any other place I'd had before, I would go and get my new car...I would be calling the shots! But again, things didn't go the way I planned, and the executive director of this organization cowardly reneged on the position by mail.

Now what to do? I hadn't planned to fail, yet my plans were failing: Or so it seemed....

To be continued.............

I'd love to hear your feedback: Don't hesitate to comment to this blog entry!

Sincerely,

Lillian S. Harris

"I can be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it." ~Maya Angelou